Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
