I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
