Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i wish my penis had a tongue
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize