p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
