Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
