I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
