She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize
