she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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