I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
pop tarts are not kleenex
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
