I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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