Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
