I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
