Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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