She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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