are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
