lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Randomize
