so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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