We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
