You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
