it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
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