those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
