How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jΓ€ger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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