dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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