So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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