May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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