Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
