why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
MIDGETS
????
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
