He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
