Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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