if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
