You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
