I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
