I'm jealous of your bromance
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
