It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My pussy is not your playground.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
