Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
