I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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