I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
