I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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