I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
