you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
