but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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