doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
