that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
