I accidentally had phone sex last night
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
