batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
