Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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