I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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