Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
