I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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