I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
