Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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