just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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