JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
