i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
