Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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